desire to do everything, but doing nothing
Tags: #life, #personal | 2026-06-23
There are so many things I want to do in my life. Play video games, read books, write stuff, learn to play the guitar, learn new languages, travel randomly, code stuff, write crime fiction, develop video games, do photography, watch anime, watch movies, cook, work out, and a ton of other things that I can't even think of right now... Yet at the end of the day, despite wanting to do so many things, I end up being a miserable sad little creature rotting in bed doing absolutely nothing. Why is that? Why do I want to do so many things but can't seem to do any of them? Maybe it's about time. Time is something required for all the things I listed, so if I don't have enough time, it would make sense that I can't do the things I want. But I DO have time. I recently graduated from university. There are still some steps I need to take regarding my life and future career and some exams I need to study for, but outside of those, I can spend my time doing the things I want. So I do have time, and yet I still can't do anything. Which means time isn't the problem.
Trying to find the root of this problem through an internal monologue is probably pointless. So because of that, I decided to do a little research online. From what I've generally seen, people talk about something called "choice paralysis." When we are faced with too many options, we end up unable to decide. And as a result, we can't do anything at all. So if you ask what the solution to this is, people say "reducing your options." Basically, if we lower the number of things we want to do, it becomes easier to choose and actually get things done. I think that's not a good way to solve it. Simply, what if I don't want to reduce my options? Then what am I supposed to do? Meh, let's look at some other things people say.
Some talk about perfectionism. When you start doing something, you want to do it properly and give it the effort it deserves, and because of that, you never even start. You already know you won't be able to do it properly at that moment, so why bother? The solution according to the internet is surprisingly simple: stop thinking that way. Even if you are going to do a terrible job, or even if you are only going to spend five minutes on it, just start doing it anyway. Honestly, this sounds a lot more reasonable. Just kickstart the process, even if it's not perfect. That is something I can do. Nevertheless, I still wanted to look at some other things people say.
Others talk about the social side of things. Apparently keeping all these goals and ambitions entirely to yourself makes them feel even more unreachable. That's why people recommend sharing your goals with others and getting support from them. I'm a little hesitant about that. Because when I tell people about my goals and can't reach them, I feel like I've embarrassed myself in front of them. Honestly, this is more than a feeling for me; it is a common reality that I face lol. Unfortunately, I love sharing the things I start with excitement, but I fail to continue them so often that now nobody really believes I'll finish something when I begin it. It's a sad situation to be in because every single time, they end up being right. So in short, I am not looking forward to sharing my goals with anyone, but I still will.
So that's how things are. I guess the most sensible thing out of everything I mentioned is to just start doing things little by little. Even writing this post is an example of that. I didn't spend much time writing this; just set aside 10-15 minutes of my time doing absolutely nothing and wrote it. Maybe writing this post will become a source of motivation for me to finally start doing things. Who knows?
P.S: Oh, and one more small thing came to mind. Totally unrelated, but whatever. There are some songs I listened to while writing this, and I want to share them too. Maybe someone else would like to listen to them as well. So for anyone interested, here are the songs:
- Panchiko - Laputa
- The Smiths - Girl Afraid
- The Cardigans - Step On Me
- Wisp - Your face
- Black Box Recorder - Kidnapping an Heiress